1. You want to become rich: Meditating to become a rich person is not an unfamiliar strategy to many attendees of our sessions (albeit it has taken a considerable amount of acquaintance to learn this secret). Some of us think meditation is a good 'fix' for issues that make you not so good with money. Here's a word of caution: meditation will make you a generous person. It will make you want to stop hoarding. It will also help you to think clearly. Now, WHAT you think, is entirely a different matter. If you think about striking a balance between generosity for yourself and the others around, this could really work.
2. You Hate Human Beings: This, ahem, is a tough one. For starters, unless you prefer a machine talking back at you, your personalised dose of meditation is likely to come from a human being. Plus, after a period of meditation (provided you're doing it sincerely), you are likely to actually stop hating people. Yet, those who know you, will still give you your space if they know you have been a human hater. This can make you feel ostracised.
3. You Want to Get Back at your Ex: You have had a bad breakup and you're raring to get back at your ex. How? By sounding ultra cool in your yoga pants, heading to the well known place that is frequented by many people your age, and sharing "relaxed" time with them. This could make your ex jealous. Sorry, but whilst you will be very likely to meet someone new after a session is finished, the time you meditate is "you" time. That means no thoughts of the ex. Plus, meditating might just make you stop wanting to get your revenge. Yes. Please choose.
4. You Want to Become a Politician (or a Lawyer): You're more than just impressed by how everyone trying to get you to attend their meditation session is swearing your life will change for the better. You are very tempted to join because you have had some confidence issues lately and this could help your public speaking. Surely, it will give you a boost of confidence when you learn not to shake with anxiety as you are about to speak. People might start turning to you to see what words come out of your mouth. But beware, the words that will come out will be concise, and most of all, true. Hence, a revision of vocational plans may be in order.
5. You Suck at Studies: Your well wishers are worried that your grades at school sucked. College grades suck. And there is no good prospect of improvements at University. So they recommend that you go and learn how to meditate so you can give more attention to your private tutor. Good plan. Only not so good when after meditating for a few sessions you start to 'listen' to your heart. And then you see that millions of not so privileged people in this world need you, and not your engineering degree. You might just quit for the greater good, suddenly start writing a piece of music, start nursing the animals in your street, and frisk your parents' monies away feeding the homeless in your neighbourhood (see point 1).
6. (Bonus Point) You Want to Lose Weight: It is astonishing the number of people who think meditation is an excellent solution to their weight problems. Because it might help them focus harder on their fasting regime or new diet. Wrong. Yes, meditation will help you focus, and yes, it is very likely going to help you think clearer (and twice) before you pop something in your mouth, but fad diets are the enemy of balance. A healthy and balanced diet needs both focus and patience instead of a quick fix to starve yourself. Meditation can help you to do that. But, don't forget that to lose all that weight, you need to move a lot. Unless you plan to move after sitting still to meditate, it can take years for a miracle to strike...
So, proceed with caution.